A good marriage therapist should stay as neutral as possible while supporting and challenging both parties, she explains. To find a therapist you both are comfortable with, Kitley suggests asking friends for recommendations. Alternatively, if you're a member of a religious organization, you can ask if they have trained clergy to counsel. Your Best Life. Type keyword s to search. Getty Images. Savor that moment and use it, says Spencer. She says if both people in the relationship really want things to work — in spite of feeling sad, betrayed or angry — it can be done.
They don't mean something is wrong with the person who cheated or the person who was cheated on. When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they are more likely to be able to work on the relationship and go the distance. She's not saying stay together for the kids, but she is suggesting you think twice before you file the divorce papers, breaking up the family.
Spencer says ask yourself the following questions: Do you still enjoy doing things together as a family? Do you find that doing things with the kids but without your husband makes you sad? Yes, life is hectic. Between work, home-life and keeping track of your child's social calendar, sometimes it's so much easier to crash on the couch and watch TV while your husband drinks beers out back. This'll help you get on a path to better communication, which can help turn an unhappy marriage around.
These celebs didn't save their relationships, but they sure did save their friendships with their partners:. To minimize snapping and destructive comments, draw up some rules of the relationship when it comes to communication.
For instance, when you fight in the future, promise not to swear at each other or resort to name-calling. Again, the more constructive communication you can have, the better your chances of working through underlying issues. You two need to play together—ya know, like the old days. What did you do when you first fell in love?
I'm not even talking about sex here. Give each other a second hug. Kiss each other hello. Dance cheek-to-cheek. These simple exercises help deliver a rush of pleasure and bonding hormones like oxytocin to bring back the intimacy that you may be lacking now, she explains. Say what now?
Yep, Eaker Weil says that one of the best ways to save your marriage is to treat them like you can't get enough of them. But then they found an unexpected way to connect: YouTube yoga videos. After a false start, they completed a day yoga challenge , and they still work out together three or four days a week. How did the experience change their relationship? After 14 years together, Kim Zapata and her husband had essentially stopped having deep and personal conversations, she wrote in a post for Babble.
They had grown apart as they changed through the years, and when she announced she was thinking about leaving, he agreed to go to therapy. Talking to a therapist, they realized they needed to create a safe space to talk to one another. For Sylvia Smith and her husband, divorce seemed imminent until she started to examine her own role in their failing marriage, she wrote for Marriage.
Sylvia reexamined her religious faith, which helped, but she also looked at her actions with fresh eyes. Valli Vida Gideons and her husband had nothing nice to say to one another, but then their therapist asked them to write down lists of the things that they loved about each other.
In an article on Houston Moms , a woman named Keri wrote about how she and her husband, Ryan, struggled for years after the death of their daughter and other family health issues.
The couple tried a temporary separation and therapy with mixed results. In the end, what helped them find a way to stay together was something a friend said: "It's time to make a decision. Either split the sheets and move on, or choose the covenants you made at marriage.
Either way, make a choice. Stop living in limbo. Valerie Kolick was convinced she could "fix" her husband. But Valerie soon found out that by thinking she had to fix her husband, she was actually just blaming him for all their issues. And by blaming him, she made herself the victim. So, she actively chose to change her mindset in order to think of her husband as a teammate.
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